the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
then he tried to convert me to islam
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
