Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
