In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
