who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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