you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
