youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
