You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
