i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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