My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
