fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
