I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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