I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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