my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
