guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
