No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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