the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
