Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
