We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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