You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
