DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
