OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
