I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
