If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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