But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
