he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
