okay pat passed out under dana's car
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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