Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
