You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
