I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
