shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
