Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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