At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
