My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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