Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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