All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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