why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
