I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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