Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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