i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
