i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize