It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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