I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
