okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
