worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
