My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its not stalking. its research.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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