whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You made out with two different species that night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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