He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
