he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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