I love black thongs
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
