It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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